May 1st — International Labour Day
This is a very personal post – just to get some things off my chest.
It’s been more than a month since we all started working from home. At the beginning I was reluctant to the idea, and even concerned.
It was the beginning of March, I started feeling dizzy at the office, and my throat started to ache. I had to go home and rest.
The coronavirus, COVID-19, hasn’t started to spread around us yet. Only those who were coming back from the far east were forced to get into quarantine. Still, most of us were worried about the virus, and they even had to cancel the office party the following week.
I was sick for a whole week, and yes, I was afraid I had the coronavirus. But besides coughing, I didn’t have the symptoms. I even went to three different doctors, and they all confirmed that I only had a throat infection. I completely recovered after 12 days. And at that point, COVID-19 started to spread in the entire country, and we’re all asked to work from home, just to be safe.
Working on my personal laptop was a torture at the begining, and made me entirely unproductive. I had to go to the gadget store several times until I found the right port to connect to the monitor. After a few weeks, I even got my workstation from the office, and literally moved my entire office to my own desk at home.
Working from home has been, with all honesty, a treat. Although I’m surprised to say that I always wake up at 7 AM, take a shower and change from my pajama to comfortable or sporty clothes. I drink my coffee while reading my emails or the news. I even put some morning music in the background (without using headphones).
I work regularly from 8 AM to 5 PM. I don’t get distracted more than I used to be distracted at the office, and I just work efficiently, and if needed, I work extra hours. I attend all of my meetings, and make sure that I am committed.
Working during this period of time is great, everyone else is quarantined at home, doing nothing, and going out of their minds. I, on the other hand, am being busy, productive, and entertained. I even improved my cooking.
I’m no longer anxious, or physically or emotionally tired, although I sleep less than before. I feel comfortable working from home, and sometimes I wish I would stay and work at home indefinitely. But I know I eventually have to go back to the office and socialize with my work colleagues.
Besides being busy during this period of time, I feel blessed that I still have my job. I know many people who are on leave without pay, or simply lost their jobs. The majority of those people are positive and optimistic about it, and I’m proud of them, but I wish that once things go back to normal, they go back to work, or find better work opportunities.
Maybe because I’m an introvert I don’t feel the urge to have things go back to normal. But, I do want to see my friends, and not feel that I’m risking to meet them up. I even miss going to cafes, restaurants, and bars. I also do want to travel at some point.
For the past five years I always felt lonely, and I wanted to be married or at least in a committed relationship with someone. Being single for me meant that I am miserable. Yes, I know, this kind of thinking is sad, and undermines my strength as a powerful single woman making it on her own. Perhaps I was just feeling lonely and unloved. But now, I’m grateful that I’m single, and live alone. I would have gone mad if I was stuck with the wrong person, or if I had kids. I am blessed with the quietness of my tiny apartment. My mom begged me to stay at their place during this period, and I refused, and I’m so happy I have. I visited them on a few occasions, specifically for the Easter holiday. I love my family, but I need to be alone, thank you very much.
This period of time made us all reflect on our lives. It made us think about the things we take for granted: mainly our health. I’m not going to elaborate on that, but I hardly took my good health to my advantage. It’s a high time to use our healthy bodies to improve our lifestyle.
I personally have been thinking a lot about my job. Because I haven’t lost it, and I’m still working as I used to work before, I’m glad I worked hard to get it. I work in a great and prestigious place, with lovely people who always support me and push me forward. For the past three years I’ve been building a career, working hard, learning, struggling, and becoming the best version of myself. And I feel more motivated now to keep going, work harder, and make the best out of the following years.
I’ve been thinking a lot about solitude. Being a lone wolf is an advantage, and has taught me a lot. Maybe I’m not thoroughly independent, after all, I still ask people’s advice or assistant, but I feel that I can be thrown onto a deserted island, metaphorically, and still survive without complaining. I enjoy my solitude, the time passes so smoothly, and I feel relaxed.
Solitude and tranquility made me think of time. I was always in a race against time, and always rushed to get things done, or go home. Now, perhaps at last, I can no longer think that I’m in a hurry, and seize the moments to take advantage of them thoroughly. I can slow down, breathe, and gaze on the beauty that surrounds me.