There are many people in our lives that always say that they’re too busy to meet with us.
Fact is: they’re not that busy. And they just don’t care enough to make time for us.
Resolution is: leave their busy ass alone.
I know, it’s not easy. Letting people off simply because they’re busy sounds too extreme and dramatic. But if those people aren’t family, or not really that close, it’s just easier to cut them off.
I have a personal story that I might regret sharing publicly on this blog, but it serves my point:
I have a cousin with whom I was best friend in my childhood and teenagehood. She lived far away, but we were inseparable everytime we met. We grew up to remain close friends/cousins, and I recall the distance was a mere barrier.
Then, she got married and now she lives 20 minutes far from the town I moved to. And though now we can meet on regular basis, the last time I saw her was more than half a year ago, which was on a family occasion.
Everytime my other cousin, who lives in my current town and we meet on daily basis, and I make plans with my childhood-friend cousin, she cancels last minute because she’s too busy.
She’s always too busy, she can never meet, and she doesn’t initiate a visit or a gathering.
She’s just one of these many people who are always busy, and never ever make time for you.
I read an article once on Linkedin that asks you to stop saying you’re too busy. When you tell people you’re too busy, you’re just showing how important you are, and the busier you are, the more important or worthy you think you appear.
And sometimes, saying you’re too busy can easily translate to “I’m busier than you”, which also means I’m better than you, or I’m winning in this cycle of productivity in life or work.
Claiming to be busy can also be an excuse, or can be used as an excuse. Many people want to avoid meeting, helping or calling other people, so they simply state they’re too busy and distracted to give any attention. And that’s just dishonest.
Being busy is not impressive, as many articles would suggest. No one cares how busy your schedule is, and if you can’t make time to meet people, then you can’t make time to do other activities, or finish more tasks. It simply means that your time management skills are inadequate.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t provide our full attention to work, and never decline phone calls during our work meetings, but at the end of the week, there’s the weekend, in which we can spend time with ourselves, and even with our friends.
I can’t personally cut my cousin out of my life. She’s my cousin and I loved her since infancy. But I believe that at some point (maybe in few years), she should know that she can’t cut me out of her life, just because she’s too busy.
Next time people tell you they don’t have time, simply answer by “Make time.”
Since many people claim to be incredibly busy to show how important they are, they make us feel that we, the people who make time to meet friends, are not important, and have nothing remarkable going on in our lives. And this obviously should break our relationship, because there’s a statement than one party is better than the other. I appears that there’s one party that achieves more than the other, and has a bigger role in life. While this is completely false.
I quit school last year, not because I couldn’t handle the stress, and couldn’t manage my time, I simply didn’t want to waste my years studying (a horrid activity I always avoid) for a degree that in the meantime wouldn’t make an impact on my life. During that year of studying, I always made time to meet my friends, my family, and people I wanted to see. And at that time, I had lots of work pressure, and then school homework and papers, and I still managed to go to the gym from time to time, watch TV and meet those I liked. Why is it impossible for some people?
We are simply not important to those who claim to be busy.
Busy people who want to meet you, don’t ever say they’re busy, they simply tell you what time is suitable for them, and they meet you. It is that simple.