That empty ache

I feel this ache in my hear. And I wonder, what’s the matter? Why am I feeling depressed, or anxious? How can I define this feeling? how can I even know what kind of feeling I am feeling right now?

Still, I’m feeling uncomfortable, I feel ill, I feel depressed and anxious. And I have no idea what to do. I can’t do anything. I’m trying to find an escape from any activity I have to do. From any meeting or commitment I already have.

I feel that my life is empty and it will remain empty, nothing will ever change, even if I rule the world, or become what I have always wanted to be. Nothing comforts me. I just lie there and try to think of nothing, and think only of the glorious things I can do or be.

I feel empty. I feel that the more I live the more empty I can become. And it terrifies me.

Emptiness by Adam Stone
Emptiness
by Adam Stone

2 thoughts on “That empty ache

  1. Sometimes these feelings can come when we care too much. You write so much about the sadness that surrounds you, while this is good (people need to hear) you also need times to “look up” or all the negative can overwhelm you. This is not escapism, but rather survival for your heart and spirit. The sky is often my consoler, up beyond the clouds the sun still shines the moon and stars twinkle untouched by mans inhumanity.
    It’s a shame you’ve lost your faith mine is also a source of comfort that one day God will step in and set to rights all those things I feel powerless to do.

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    1. It’s just every step I take in life terrifies me, even though it shouldn’t. And even though I’m full of life and ambitious I find myself every now and then stuck with empty feelings of “what’s the point?” and “where is my life going?”

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