Everyone’s a looney

What I reckon: is everyone’s a loony. However normal anyone seems, deep down inside they’re actually mental, every single person in the world and the whole of your life you have to learn not to seem mental to other people, who are all mental, too. Deep down you speak this different language — you talk in a loony language which doesn’t talk in your voice, I don’t know. Maybe it screams really loudly or something. I mean we’re all born mental aren’t we? If you think how babies act — we really don’t stop being like that. Everyone wants to scream loudly, and grab things without asking and break them, but it’s not allowed is it? So what you have to have is a kind of anti-mental translator-device, which translates all your mentalness into normal speech — and you’ve got to learn to use it, and it’s got to be working properly — or you get found out for being a loony.


– The Department of Nothing by Colin Firth, from the short story collection Speaking with the Angel

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