I find myself caught in this moment in which I will have to decide what kind of creator I wish to become, the good and successful or the loser? the proud or the humble?
We choose to write for glory and love, instead of misery and humblness. Creators nowadays are to be proud, thus they would only wish to show the world their greatness. Perhaps that’s the main reason that will fail me to become an adequate creator.
Do I need to join them all and be a superficial proud creator who will speak of greatness, dignity and gratification? Or should I speak of my own pain and let the world decide my true destiny?
Who am I to deserve conceit and glory?
Recognition on the otehr hand is different. But do we create to have a name, or an identity, to be remembered by? Why do we need that? can’t we just be ourselves and stick to what we know and what we believe to know, and forget what the world wants to make of us?
Does it matter after all, if I become the accliamed author of that specific novel, or just the struggling writer who decides to stick to her own self and what she actually knows?
Maybe I am not even a writer. I make more errors than I ought to.